I hate my house

Okay I don't really HATE my house - I hate how it's decorated. I hate the garden outside (or lack of one). I hate where my furniture is placed and the colors and the pictures on the wall don't look right.

AND I want to go on a road trip - it's spring, I'm getting itchy feet and need to DO something or GO somewhere.

But mostly I want to love my house and how it looks and I want it to feel homey, and it just doesn't. Sooooo I'm making a list - because I'm anal and I love lists - and it's really long so far. Some of the things are:

1. Take pictures down
2. Wash walls (painting will happen soonish)
3. Buy an area rug for the living room
4. Re-arrange the couch and chair
5. Bring up the top of the entertainment cabinet and put it on the bottom
6. Throw every little knick knacky thing in a box and decide if you want it or not
7. Re-arrange the pictures in the living room
8. Look at where to put the piano - in the entry as it is now or move it to the "other wall" - which is the only other place to put it
9. Buy a throw for the back of the couch that will pull one of the colors in from the area rug and tie the colors of the living room together, because you're suppose to do that, I guess.
10. Buy a mirror or nice wall ornament thing for the wall - well, for two walls...maybe three.

Then I have a list for the bedroom and a list for the bathroom and the ensuite and the dining room area...and the longer my list grows, the more painful and frustrating this is becoming because I don't know if I can do it. I have no concept of color and decorating is so beyond me. We have lived in five places and I have never managed to decorate any of them to the point where I'd call it "nice" and "homey" and "lived in." I'm not much for the country look - I don't like roosters or cows or pigs...I don't want my salt to pour out of a barnyard animal and I don't want my ovenmitts to moo. I like "clean lines" whatever the hell that means - like on Trading Spaces of old - Vern was totally my style. But I can't afford Vern. Or in "today's decorating market" on Oprah - that Nate guy - the cute one? He's got good taste - I want him to decorate my house. But I can't afford Nate. So that leaves me, to try and "copy" their style and I have no sense for it.

God help me.